Single Guy II: The Wrath of Practicality

If you’re a geeky, schlubby, thirty-five year old man, you’d think that your biggest problem would be making an ass out of yourself in front of a “mainstream” (non-geeky) girl who’ll think you’re some kind of a freak or weirdo. The truth of the matter is that your biggest problem as a single guy, your kryptonite, if you will, is the choice you have to make between choosing a practical girl or going with a misfit.

As my friends and family can tell you, I’m often drawn to a certain type of girl, that is to say I’m very drawn to geeky misfits. What’s a geeky misfit? Well, think of the “manic pixie dream girl” from crappy, overrated movies like Garden State but substitute their love for indie music for a love of videogames and possibly Star Wars. In spite of my fellow nerdy guys and cracked magazine saying that they don’t exist, they really DO exist, you just have to know where to look for them. You can find plenty of them on Youtube reviewing videogames (a more glamorous and perhaps more psychotic example would be SssniperWolf from Youtube) and you can find them at ‘cons from time to time, or if you know ITs, you can find them in that social circle. And I’ve known and dated a handful of them in my life.

I’d say the first was my second ex-fiancee Gwen (who I have touched on once before). She kinda/sorta looked like a Suicide Girl but she was also into Star Wars, mostly because her dad and brother were big fans. Another misfit girl that I know and love (more in a platonic way) is my friend Kara, who is an IT (who is cute as a button) and she’s very girly but she LOVES videogames, Tomb Raider and Gears of War in particular. She’s also very into Assassin’s Creed (don’t ask me why) and she likes Marvel movies as well. The cute but nerdy misfit girls are misfits because they are certainly the “womanchild” types. That is to say if a nerdy, immature man could be a “manchild,” a nerdy and immature woman could certainly be a “womanchild.” They’re very smart and they make decent money (emphasis on the word “decent”) but they immature, juvenile and are slackers or stoners in their spare time (at least the ones I’ve spent my time with anyway). Their polar opposite is the practical girl. And I don’t think I need to really explain what a practical girl is.

A practical girl is the classy, naturally beautiful, smart and savvy kind of woman who has their shit together. I’d say that Madison is very much a practical girl. She probably has enough savings to put a down-payment on a house, she makes a hell of a lot of money, she’s classy, smart and she’s the kind of girl your mother would say “Hold on to her for dear life.”

And I do love Madison very much, I’d say she’s a dear friend and I ultimately think that she’ll be the one I settle down with when I settle down. Buuuuuuuuuut, there is, of course, a snag or two and that’s why we’re still not mutually exclusive. She’s brainy and geeky when it comes to political and environmental science and we’re both into sociology and philosophy but she’s very much “mainstream” otherwise. That is to say she wouldn’t know a Klingon from a cling-on (terrible joke, I know) and she finds my action figure collecting childish and sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of these basement dweller kind of guys who can’t see how geeky and sad the “art” of collecting is, I certainly have an endgame plan in mind where I won’t buy the crap anymore, but it’s a little jarring to find someone who really doesn’t share most of your interests. Now, there is another girl out there I’ve been spending some time with, we’ll call her Lauren (and yes, I’ve changed her name here) who is an IT and she makes decent money, but she’s certainly not making the kind of money Madison does and she’s younger than me (she’s twenty-five, I’m thirty-five) and she kind of lives her life day by day and is very much the geeky misfit type I talked about earlier. I don’t know if we share a lot of deeper interests (such as my love for philosophy, sociology, political science and other things at that level) but I can watch Star Wars with her. I can play some Gears of War with her. I can make geeky comic booky type references and she’ll get them and chuckle. Thing is though, by her own admission, she’s not a very practical girl and she’d tell you that.

And that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? That’s kind of the point of this blog and the point of my romantic life, to find someone practical who can challenge and inspire me to become the success I’ve always known I could be and to help me to let go of the whole manchild thing. But really, what’s more important, at the end of all things, being truly practical with a practical woman, or being deliriously happy with someone like myself who has no idea what is in store for their future?
I guess the simplified question would be “What is more important, love or practicality?” That is certainly the “To be or not to be” for all us geeky males. Do we go for something solid or do we go for what makes us happy? And who is to say a practical girl couldn’t make us manchildren happy? To paraphrase Roddy, “Hot Rod” Piper, just when you think you have all the answers in life, someone changes all the questions.


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